Here is this weeks big box of junk mail, 154 pieces in all.
Noooo! Stop sending me junk mail!
NO! No no no! How could this happen? I have been pounding the keyboard for a month to make the junk mail stop. How could I go backwards, and get 154 pieces in one week?! It is like I have kicked an angry hornet’s nest of junk mail.
This is what my mailbox looks like everyday.
How could you 2 let me down? I was counting on you to keep the mail away.
The biggest set back I had was, I got the official paperwork back for the first few USPS form 1500’s I sent out. It doesn’t work on foreign mail, only mail from the USA. Darn it. 22 out of 38 this week were from either The Netherlands or Australia. Now I will just focus 100% on US based scams. Look out St. Louis MO, there are lots of form 1500’s coming your way.
Let’s run down the biggest junk mail senders this week:
Chosen People Ministries. (Wiki page) They like to convert Israelis into christens. I like the pre-filled out check on the top right. All I have to do is fill in the dollars.
Judicial Watch run by Thomas Fitton. Charity Navigator page, 33% of budget spent on fundraising. There is a lot going on here. Some how Sheriff Joe Arpaio is involved.
American Civil Rights Union, (Wiki page) it wants to be the conservative answer to the ACLU. Their Charity Navigator page is a must read, they get 0 stars, and 72% of their budget is spent on fundraising. Source Watch page. Opt-out here: firstname.lastname@example.org
Citizens United dressed in Rand Paul clothing
National Right to Work Committee and National Pro-Life Alliance also using Rand Paul. So did I get 3 unrelated letters? Did I get 4 pieces of junk mail from Rand Paul? You decide.
Tea Party Patriots. (Wiki page) It is time for her to renew her membership. Sorry guys that ship has sailed. You aren’t getting any more money from her. The other one wants John Boehner to resign. That has to be the worst photo of John Boehner ever. I couldn’t find the original, but the flag he is standing in front of is huge. The stars are the size of his head.
Food and Water Watch, (Wiki Page) (Charity Navigator page) (Source Watch page) hay hippies, you had better check yourselves. The Tea Party, and Citizens United sent less that you this week.
5 from The National Center for Public Policy Research. Opt out here: email@example.com, with the subject header “Delete from Solicitation”
15 from Policy Issues Institute. Opt-out here: james.lacy.@wewerlacy.com
16 from Federation Of Responsible Citizens. Opt-out here: FedofRespCitizen@aol.com. I wanted to make sure everyone saw the large envelopes this week. They are usually buried under all the smaller mail
The week of May 19th can’t come fast enough.
The junior division is getting feisty. Both Annette Bosworth and Ben Carson are mad I didn’t feature them enough last week, so they sent me more stuff.
Annette sent me the same letter and blow-up of a camera phone photo, that she did last week.
But now I can show you the taking points on the back of the photo. This week she compared people who receive food stamps to wild animals in National Parks. I hope who ever is paying for all this expensive mail gets their moneys worth when she is elected.
Ben Carson, I mean the people who have nothing to to with Ben Carson, but are asking him to run for president, have stepped up their game.
I now have a Teen Beat style Pin-up poster of Ben. That is like so cool, I will totally like put it up next to all the like old NKOTB posters in my like bedroom. Like.
Jordan is like so dreamy
Lots of note cards and address labels were included this week. They will come in handy for stopping scam junk mail.
16 of them are eligible for a USPS form 1500. And I just went to Costco and got a 100 pack of stamps. Bring it on scammers.
Here they are 17 pre-paid stuffed, sharpied envelopes.
I wrote a special note for the fine folks at Run Ben Run. That group is headed by John Phillips Sousa IV. His great-grandfather wrote this little ditty:
It was quite the hit at the time. Just imagine that I wrote to Blue Ivy and told her that her mom’s song “Single Ladies”
sucked and you get the idea. They had better stop sending me stuff, or next time I will say something mean about Stars and Stripes Forever
Here are the leftovers from this weeks 154 pieces.
I am giving offerings to Our Lady and St. Rand. Hopefully it will be enough to keep the mail away this week.