Drowning in Junk Mail – This Week in Junk Mail, 56 Pieces

All 56 pieces

This week I have dumped Catalog Choice for PaperKarma. I have hit a wall, and was logging fewer and fewer mailpieces every week. Mostly because I knew Catalog Choice couldn’t help me anymore. So after 4 months and over 200 requests, I am giving PaperKarma a try. I will be writing a review for both of them in about 4 months. Fair is fair, I want to give PaperKarma time to work.

2 in 1 day club
2 in 1 day club. Including:

Response Unlimited junk mail
All of these are from direct marketing firm Response Unlimited, opt-out here

Citizens United
Rand Paul and Mike Huckabee selling themselves out to Citizens United

Mashed up political parties

Other political junk mail
Other random political junk mail. Including:

Sarah Palin poem
The Americans for Sarah letter is just to good this week. It has part of a speech she gave at CPAC in March. It is a parody of Green Eggs and Ham, but for conservatives.

I do not like this, Uncle Sam.
I do not like this healthcare scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks
Or how they cry and cook the books

I do not like when Congress steals
I do not like their crony deals

I do not like “oh yes, we can”

I do not like this spending, spree
We’re smart, we know nothing’s free

I do not like reporters’ smug replies
When I complain about their lies

I do not like this kind of hope
And we won’t take it
Nope, nope, nope


Big envelopes
Giant envelopes. Including:

7 Charities. Including:

11 scams.

Including one of the most long winded pyramid schemes I have seen. 6 pages double sided. All trying to convince me to send $97 to one person and $100 to another. If you can’t tell me your pitch in 1 page you are a terrible sales person.

I won’t be sending out any form 1500’s this week. None of them qualify. I have either already sent them out, or It is the first time I have gotten them. I hope the guys in the New York office don’t miss me.

Stuffed and ready to go
Here are 11 pre-paid envelopes stuffed and ready to go.

Scam from Australia
You should recognize this little scam from PO BOX 17 Varsity Lakes QLD 4227 Australia. I get it almost every week. Now with both her new and old address. As I am writing this, the mail for next week has already come, and I just got 3 more. Because it is international, I can’t use a from 1500 to make it stop. Or I would have stopped them months ago. I have sent every one back stuffed, not stuffed, nasty notes, crazy notes, and they still come. So this time I am trying something new. Instead of just “Take me off your mailing list” I have put “Deceased, She is dead” next to her address. I have not done this before because, she is in fact not dead. I also don’t want to mess up her Social Security and Medicare. But this one is international and they just can’t take a hint.


Drowning in Junk Mail – Stephen Colbert is Reading My Junk Mail

Fact: Last week I got these two pieces of mail:

Allen West

Fact: Last night Stephen Colbert mentions impeaching Obama and Allen West

Rising Calls for Obama’s Impeachment

Fact: P. K. Winsome talks about the surveys that I get all the time

Rising Calls for Obama’s Impeachment – P.K. Winsome

Conclusion: Stephen Colbert is reading my junk mail

Drowning in Junk Mail – This Week in Junk Mail 53 pieces

All 53 pieces

Just as I thought, the holiday week affected the junk mail last week. It looks like 50 is my new average. That is great, I have shaved off 100 pieces of junk mail since my high of 154. This week I sent an email over to the Consumerist about Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield and the fantastic response they had to my Prohibitory Order. The Consumerist loved it as did their readers. I had lots of great comments, and over 300 people went to DMA Choice page. I hope most of them signed up for the service.

Club 2 in 1 day

Club 2 in 1 day. The most exclusive club in my mailbox.

Response Unlimited junk mail
7 from Response Unlimited including:

Citizens United junk mail
2 from Citizens United.

Allen West
2 from Allen West and the Congressional Prayer Caucus Opt-out here help@CPCFoundation.com

Other political junk mail
Other political junk mail including:

big envelopes
Giant Envelopes including

9 Charities including

3 calendars this week. They were from

That makes 8 so far. The only one I use is the little one in the middle from the Humane Society. It helps me keep track of when junk mail from different groups will stop.

15 scams. I will only be sending in 1. The rest are either international or I have already sent in a from 1500.

Dr. Fred Pescatore's Logical Health Alternatives
The one going in is Dr. Fred Pescatore’s Logical Health Alternatives and his “Halo” Cancer Cure PO Box 925 Frederick, MD 21705-9913. Check out the free postage I got from National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare Thanks guys! It is generous donations like yours that make this blog possible.

Shredded paper and glitter
I got some free newspapers while I was at my favorite taco stand this week. I ran them through my shredder, and now I have a new fun way to stuff envelopes.

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
This is the pre-paid return envelope for Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine they are the medical wing of PETA. So for them, I pulled one of the ads from the Publishers Clearing House mailpiece I got this week. It is for stuffing burgers. Burgers are a no,no if you are a member of Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine envelope
A note telling them to remove her from their mailing list, a little shred paper and a sprinkle of glitter.

Stuffed and ready to go
11 envelopes a stuffed and ready to go.

Here are the leftovers.



Drowning in Junk Mail – How to Opt-Out of Publishers Clearing House (again)

This is the 3rd mailpiece group I have gotten from Publishers Clearing House (Wiki page) in 3 months. I have opted-out twice. The second time because I realized that they have her name backwards.
If you are in the clutches of PCH please opt out of their mailings. If they won’t stop use a form 1500 and the USPS will stop it for you. I am so passionate about getting people off the Publishers Clearing House mailing list because they will sell you out to the worst mailing lists around. Because they use a strange variation of her name, I see where it gets sold to, and it isn’t pretty.

2 from Publishers Clearing House
This week I got these 2 mailpieces from Publishers Clearing House

Publishers Clearing House junk mail

Publishers Clearing House

Publishers Clearing House
This is the first letter. It is telling me to be on the look out for more junk mail from Publishers Clearing House. Yaaaa just what I need, junk mail telling me I’m about to get more junk mail.

Publishers Clearing House
Then just as they promised this arrived

The out side of the envelope talks a lot

Publishers Clearing House envelope
Uh oh She has Ignored Prior Bulletins. A crime punishable by sending more junk mail, according to Publishers Clearing House.

Publishers Clearing House envelope

Publishers Clearing House envelope
Some legalese at the bottom of the envelope

If you thought that the front was busy, check out the back
Publishers Clearing House envelope

Publishers Clearing House envelope

Publishers Clearing House envelope

Publishers Clearing House envelope

I am already exhausted and I haven’t looked at the contents yet

Publishers Clearing House
Here are the contents: return pre-paid envelope, rule book, the form to send back, 2 games, and stuff to buy

First the boring stuff: the rules
Publishers Clearing House rules front

Publishers Clearing House rules back
In defense of PCH, the font size is large and easy to read. The odds are clearly laid out (you have no chance of winning). They clearly state that you have not won yet, you don’t have to buy anything to enter and buying stuff won’t increase your chances of winning. Plus they want you to recycle. Oh I will be recycling this stuff alright. Just not the way they expect. This reporter signed up for PCH, and played every day for 6 months and won nothing.

Publishers Clearing House, Bingo and scrachers
These are 2 extra games. You play the bingo card my matching the number stickers on the left to the card, if I get Bingo (I did) I am then entered into another contest for $50. There are 2 scratchers. The blue one is to match the secret number in the box next to the arrow with one of the 3 boxes below (I did). The other is to see what kind of discount I will get off the stuff I buy from the PCH catalog (I got 50% off ) but the bottom of the scratcher says the “Maximum savings already reflected in Bulletin pricing” and the back says”Return of Savings Pass not required to receive savings” For shame PCH. This is the kind of stuff you were busted for recently.

Now that I have played the games and I’m getting an extra $50, $35,000, and 50% off everything in the catalog (no, I’m not) Let’s go shopping!

Publishers Clearing House catalog
There are 3 booklets to go through

Publishers Clearing House
Most important is to get the little “Initials Registration” sticker on this page. It will go on the order form.

Publishers Clearing House
Stuff some burgers, then exercise it off.

Publishers Clearing House
Wagging Tails in Heaven or 101 Advanced Sexual Positions.

Publishers Clearing House
Do you need a bag of old dimes or old pennies?

Publishers Clearing House
Melamine, Where have I heard the word before? Oh I know it is the stuff you put in milk and pet food and it kills everything that eats it. But the FDA says that it is safe in tableware. Bon appetit!

Have you picked out your 2 favorites? Because it is time to fill out the Entry-Order form!!1!!

Publishers Clearing House
The one on the top left is the order from that gets sent in. The rest is just trying to convince me to do it.

Publishers Clearing House

Publishers Clearing House
The “Initials Registration” sticker is there too.

Publishers Clearing House
The bingo card is stuck to the back

Publishers Clearing House

Publishers Clearing House
But you know me. I have to add special touches to the form. I blacked out the barcodes, and the 10 digit ID code. They process it by sending it through a scanner. They never open the envelopes. I have made it so they have to open it up and when they do, they will get my note and little sprinkle of glitter.

This had better be the last one of these I get. The next one is going strait to the Pricing and Classification Service Center in New York.


Drowning in Junk Mail – How to opt-out of Junk Mail from Specialized Fundraising

Today we are going to be dealing with the underbelly of the fundraising world. The fake charity/fake sweepstakes. This is some very nasty stuff that should be illegal. It is a charity asking for money with the veneer of a sweepstakes.

Child Protection Program charity scam

Child Protection Program scam
Child Protection Program
PO Box 6119
St. Louis, MO 63139-0119

The first red flag is, that this “charity” has no website. It had one once according to Washington State, but it is now dead.

It is apart of Survivors and Victims Empowered. Which made the Tampa Bay Times Worst Charities list. It is run by Phil Sheldon, who is the son of the Rev. Lou Sheldon, chairman of the Traditional Values Coalition. OMG! Get out of my mailbox Sheldon family!! The dad, the daughter and now the son. Charity Navigator page, unrated because it is sub 1 million dollars.

The Breast Cancer Project charity scam

The Brest Cancer Project charity scam
The Breast Cancer Project
PO Box 758544
Topeka, KS 66675-8544

The Breast Cancer Project is a part of:
National Cancer Center, Charity Navigator page 0 stars 68% of budget spent on fundraising.

They also run:

Both of these mailpieces are made by the same direct marketing firm: Specialized Fundraising. Website redirects to Info Group Media Solutions. Specialized Fundraising phone number (864) 579-7755 x111. Nextmark page for Specialized Fundraising. If that doesn’t work this is the Info Group Media Solutions contact page. I do not know if they are the same company of if they just bought the domain name.

You can look through their mailing lists here. You will find a lot of “sound a like” charities:

  • A Child Forever a program of Kids Wish Network
  • American Foundation for Disabled Children
  • Care for Our Wounded Soldiers a program of National Caregiving Foundation
  • Combating Children’s Cancer Foundatoin, a mailing program of Israel Children’s Cancer Foundatoin
  • Committee for Missing Children
  • Contest Cash (National Heart Council)
  • Healing Hero’s Network
  • Help the Vet
  • Israel Children’s Cancer Foundation
  • Kids Wish NetworkTampa Bay Times Worst Charities, AC360 part 1AC360 part 2, AC360 part 3
  • Kids Wish Network Hero of the Month
  • Miracle Flights
  • National Caregivers Foundation
  • Sweepstakes Contributors To Alzheimer’s Research (National Alzheimer’s Council)
  • Sweepstakes Donors To A Diabetes Cause (Defeat Diabetes)
  • Welcome Home Hero a program of Healing Heros Network

Normally I would use a from 1500 to stop mail from these groups because they are sweepstakes. But save a stamp (or 10) and opt-out here. I recommend you send your email to someone on the List Management team. They got back to me very quickly.

From the “the internet never forgets” desk: How the Deceptive Mail Prevention and Enforcement Act of 1999 came to be.

Article by the New York Times about sweepstakes from 1998.

In 1998 Susan Collins and Carl Levin started a sub-committee hearings on sweepstakes in the mail.

CSPAN September 1, 1998

CSPAN March 8, 1999, Victims of sweepstakes junk mail testify.

CSPAN March 9, 1999 skip to 1 hour 5 minutes to see Susan Collins, Carl LevinDick Durbin, John Edwards, and, Arlen Specter grill the heads of American Family Enterprises, Reader’s DigestPublishers Clearing House, and Time Inc., New Media (that is the magazine division) about the misleading sweepstakes mail they send out.

Full transcript of both hearings

One of the topics that comes up in testimony is people flying to Tampa Florida to collect their winnings from American Family Publishers. This happened so many times the St. Petersburg Times collected the stories on one page.

These are the bills they were trying to pass at the time:

The DMA guide to to the Deceptive Mail Prevention and Enforcement Act of 1999.

You have not won yet
I get this with almost every sweepstakes mailpiece, so that is some progress.

Drowning in Junk Mail – This week in Junk Mail, 44 pieces

All 44 pieces

Only 44? Could this be because of the holiday? Or is this the new normal? We will find out next week. But for now I will enjoy a sub 50 pieces of junk mail week.

Club 2 in 1 day
Everyone loves the 2 in 1 day club. They are so worried that I won’t send them money that they send 2 at a time.

Response Unlitited
7 from Response Unlimited including:

Citizens United
3 From Citizens United

Border junk mail
2 border watch groups

3 Civil Rights groups
The second best mash-up of the week was the 3 civil rights groups that I wrote a blog post about

Junk mail from George W. Bush and Bill Clinton
Mash-up of the week has to go to these two mailpieces. One from George H. W. Bush for Republican National Committee and one from Bill Clinton for Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. I have said it before and I will say it again: No one should be getting both of these mailpieces ever, let alone in the same week.

Giant envelopes
8 Giant envelops including:

Other political junk mail
Here is the rest of the political junk mail. Normally I don’t take photos of the single mailpieces because it would overflow the poor table on my porch. But this week there is a reasonable amount.

4 charities
4 charities

Angeles mag
Random ad of the week is Angels on Earth magazine. It is all inspirational stories involving angels

Junk mail prayer card
They even sent a personalized prayer card.

May God grant you always… No more junk mail

Thanks guys! How did you know that is what I pray for every day?

3 scams
Only 3 scams this week

Adding glitter
I am kicking my envelope stuffing up a notch this week. I bought some glitter and sprinkled a little in each prepaid envelope.

stuffed and ready to go
25 envelopes stuffed, sprinkled with glitter, sealed with duct tape, and bar codes blacked out. Remember that I combined last week’s prepaid envelopes with this week because of the holiday.

4 1500's
Only 4 form 1500’s this week. Like the prepaid envelopes I combined this week with last week.

Left overs
Here are the left overs.

My junk mail project is almost done. Do you need help stopping junk mail? Do you have photos of junk mail you want to share? The comments are open or darthjenni at gmail dot com.


Drowning in Junk Mail – A Reply to my Prohibitory Order from Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield

Hold on to your hats people. This is the most Baawww-tacular, the most butt hurt letter from a scammer you will see today.

Some back round first. I have sent out over 40 Prohibitory Orders so far. This is the fist reply letter I have gotten from a scammer.

16 US based scams
Here is the first mailpiece I got from Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield. It is peaking out from under all the other scam junk mail that came that week. It came on May 5th.

Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield form 1500
I got the same mail piece again the week of June 15. It is a very standard advanced fee fraud scam. Send them $20 and you will get 3 million 9 hundred thousand dollars. It is very pretty, with lots of colors, a seal, a big fake check of all the money you are going to get, and signatures everywhere.

A per my rules, because this was the second one they sent, it is time to send out a from 1500.

This is the reply I got from the post office

Latter from the post office to me
A couple of notes here, they call her Mr. because they got her name backwards. So for this mailpiece her first name is a douchey bro name, and her last name a very frilly girls name that I have never seen as a last name ever. Maybe something was lost in translation from one scammers system to another’s? Who knows. Also this went to her old address. That tells me they don’t update their mailing lists very often.

Dear Mr. [name],

As requested we have issued Prohibitory Order number 2080002 against Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield. The enclosed copy of the Prohibitory Order (Form 2152) should be kept in your permanent records. This order remains in effect for 5 years from the date of issuance or from the last time you apply for enforcement against an apparent violator. If your application included eligible minors, they will not be protected by this Prohibitory Order after their nineteenth birthday, unless they send us a written request to have their protection continue.

The order prohibiting any mailing to persons protected by the Prohibitory Order goes into effect on the thirtieth calendar day after the mailer receipt. If you receive a mailpiece in apparent violation of that prohibition, and you wish to submit it for use as evidence, you must open it and write on its exterior and contents the date of receipt and a signed statement as follows: “I received this mailpiece on (date).” Then send the entire mailpiece to the Pricing and Classification Service Center at the address above, along with a copy of your Prohibitory Order, if possible, or your Prohibitory Order number.

We are pleased to help in your effort to gain protection against unwanted receipt of such mail.


Here is the Prohibitory Order for Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield from the USPS
Latter from the post office to Kingsley, Harper and Hatfield

We have been furnished a mailpiece containing advertising that you mailed or caused to be mailed to: Mr. [name]

The mailpiece offers to sell matter the the addressee has determined to be erotically arousing or sexually provocative. Under 39 USC 3008, the addressee has requested that a Prohibitory Order be issued against you, and your agents or assigns, to protect the addressee (and his or her minor children residing with the addressee, who have not attained their 19th birthday.) A copy of 39 USC 3008 is attached.

Please be aware that the US Postal Service is required by law to issue this order based on the recipient’s request. This office may not make an independent assessment of whether the mailpiece is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” This is left up to the sole discretion of the customer.

Therefore, under the cited statute, you and your agents or assigns are hereby ordered:

  1. To refrain from any mailing to the addressee, or any child named below, at the indicated address (or occupant, householder, resident, boxholder, postal customer, rural route boxholder, and local), effective on the 30th calendar day after receipt of this order.
  2. To delete immediately the addressee and all children named above from all mailing lists owned or controlled by you or your agents or assigns.
  3. To abstain immediately from sale, rental exchange, or other transaction involving mailing lists bearing the name of the address and/or any child’s name stated above.

Mr. [name] has determined that your mail is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative”. You have 30 days to stop sending Mr. [name] junk mail or else. Every other scammer I have sent this to has taken their lumps, stopped sending me mail and moved on with life. Not Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield.

Here is the reply from Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield to me
Letter from Kinsley, Harper and Hatfield to the post office

Dear Mr. [name],

Our company is in receipt of your complaint filed with the USPS in regard to receiving “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” mail. Please be advised that KHH does not mail material of that kind.

After a thorough investigation of out records it has been determined that your name and address had not been our mailing data base. However, your name and address has been added to our “do not mail” data base at this time.

If you would like to have your name and address permanently removed from the national data files that serve the direct mailing industry, a letter must be written by you and sent to:

Mail Preference Service
Direct Mailing Association
PO Box 643Carmel, NY 10512

We, sincerely, hope that this will remedy the situation.

Customer Service

And here is Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield’s reply to the post office
Letter from Kingsley, Harper and Hatfield to me

Dear Sir,

Our company is in receipt of the letter from your office regarding the above. After a thorough investigation of out records it has been determined that Mr. [name]’s name and address has not been our mailing data base. At this time Mr. [name] has been added to our “do not mail” data base.

A copy of this letter will be mailed to Mr. [name] as well as the address of the national data files that serves the direct mailing industry so that he can request his name and address can be added to the “do not mail” data base.

More importantly, please be advised that no “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” information has ever been mailed to anyone from KHH.

It is hoped that this letter will conclude the file on this matter.

Customer Service


So to review:

  • They don’t mail porn.
  • Her name is not in the data base, but they are going to be nice and put her on the “do not mail” list anyway.
  • I should write a letter to the DMA.
  • They don’t mail porn.
OMG Somebody call the WAAAAAAAAmbulance!!

OMG Somebody call the WAAAAAAAAmbulance!!

We don’t mail porn! We run a legitimate advanced fee fraud scam out of a UPS store in Queens NY. Baaawwww.

They obviously didn’t read my How-to on sending a Prohibitory Order. Or else they would know that it is not up to them to determine what is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative”. It is up to me. Now, I did get a tingling in my lady parts while I read this mail piece, but I think it was a yeast infection. Definitely a by product of reading to much junk mail.

Did they really tell me to write a letter DMA to stop junk mail? That is like so 5 years ago. Everyone (well, everyone that reads this blog anyway) knows that you go to DMA Choice now to stop junk mail. You need to step your game up Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield.

To everyone who gets junk mail from:

Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield
PMB 395
176-25 Union Turnpike
Fresh Meadows, NY 11366

Please send in a Prohibitory Order on them. It is the only 100% sure fire way to make them stop sending you stuff. The more time they spend sending letters to you, me, the USPS, and the DMA is less time they have to send out scams.

Drowning in Junk Mail – 3 Civil Rights Groups

Days like today are why I write this blog. Sometimes it writes itself.

3 Civil Rights groups
I got these 3 mail pieces yesterday. They are all about the same thing: Your civil rights. But they all have very different agendas, and very different ways of presenting themselves.

Alliance Defending Freedom junk mail
Let’s start with the flashiest of the 3. Full color envelope with Obama and a “no bible” symbol and the letters “ACLU” floating around. It screams “What’s behind the UNPRECEDENTED ATTACKS on YOUR religious freedom… And what YOU can do about it!” 

This is from Alliance Defending Freedom. It also came with mailing labels (I don’t like to photograph them because it will just be a blurry mess). The letter talks about how the ACLU is “undermine[ing] America’s Judeo-Christian foundation” and “The Obama Administration is building on the destructive legacy of the ACLU and taking it even further” the letter goes on like that for 4 pages.

Opt-out here.

American Civil Rights Union junk mail
Next we have a more serious envelope with a “Notice of Firearm Restriction Compliance” and some quotes from USPS postal code. This is from the American Civil Rights Union. The 8 page letter talks about gun rights, and how they are the conservative ACLU.

They want me to urgently reply to this letter by sending back a “Declaration of Freedom” that says in part: “Let it be known. That we, the free Citizens of the United States of America, will no longer tolerate the assault on our Constitutional Rights that has become a state-by-state campaign by liberal, anti-Freedom, anti-gun zealots.”

Opt-out here info@theacru.org

American Civil Liberties Union ACLU junk mail
Now we come to a simple green envelope with nothing on it (except for my scribbling). I can’t make this stuff up people, it is from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The very group demonized by the other 2 mail pieces.

The only things in the envelope is a pre-paid postage return envelope and the membership renewal notice. It’s pitch? “From urging the President and Congress to act decisively on critical civil liberties priorities, to arguing vitally important cases before the Supreme Court, to helping people protect their personal freedom in communities all across America, the ACLU’s work is more essential than ever.” That is it. One paragraph, to tell me what they do.

Opt-out here membership@aclu.org

I will try to opt-out of all them this week. I couldn’t care less about your cause. I just want the junk mail to stop.


Drowning in Junk Mail – This week in Junk Mail, 68 pieces

Box o junk mail
Happy Independence day everyone! Because I went on a mini vacation for the holiday, it will be a short post this week. I am going to combine the envelope stuffing and the form 1500’s with next week.

2 in 1 day club
The 2 in day club is going strong.

Citizens United
They may have sent 3 in 1 day, but 6 in total for the week from Citizens United. Including a big glossy photo of Mike Huckabee. I will have to do something with it. I am open to suggestions.

Junk mail from Response Unlimited
Conservative Caucus junk mail
9 from direct marketer Response Unlimited.


Ted Cruz Club for Growth and Friends of John Boehner
Ted Cruz lending his name to The Club for Growth, Wiki page, Open Secrets page. And The Friends of John Boehner, Open Secrets page.

Giant envelopes
Giant envelopes.


12 Charities
12 charities

Cal Farley's
Including yet another horse charity Cal Farley’s.  Wiki page, Charity Navigator page.

12 Scams
12 scams. Hay PO Box 4805 Robina Town Centre QLD 4230 Australla update your mailing list. All the other international scammers have, ya straggler.

I will be taking care of the clean up on Sunday, with this week’s mail. So look for that next Monday or Tuesday.