Drowning in Junk Mail – How to Opt-Out of Publishers Clearing House (again)

This is the 3rd mailpiece group I have gotten from Publishers Clearing House (Wiki page) in 3 months. I have opted-out twice. The second time because I realized that they have her name backwards.
If you are in the clutches of PCH please opt out of their mailings. If they won’t stop use a form 1500 and the USPS will stop it for you. I am so passionate about getting people off the Publishers Clearing House mailing list because they will sell you out to the worst mailing lists around. Because they use a strange variation of her name, I see where it gets sold to, and it isn’t pretty.

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This week I got these 2 mailpieces from Publishers Clearing House

This is the first letter. It is telling me to be on the look out for more junk mail from Publishers Clearing House. Yaaaa just what I need, junk mail telling me I’m about to get more junk mail.

Then just as they promised this arrived

The out side of the envelope talks a lot

Uh oh She has Ignored Prior Bulletins. A crime punishable by sending more junk mail, according to Publishers Clearing House.

Some legalese at the bottom of the envelope

If you thought that the front was busy, check out the back

I am already exhausted and I haven’t looked at the contents yet

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Here are the contents: return pre-paid envelope, rule book, the form to send back, 2 games, and stuff to buy

First the boring stuff: the rules

In defense of PCH, the font size is large and easy to read. The odds are clearly laid out (you have no chance of winning). They clearly state that you have not won yet, you don’t have to buy anything to enter and buying stuff won’t increase your chances of winning. Plus they want you to recycle. Oh I will be recycling this stuff alright. Just not the way they expect. This reporter signed up for PCH, and played every day for 6 months and won nothing.

These are 2 extra games. You play the bingo card my matching the number stickers on the left to the card, if I get Bingo (I did) I am then entered into another contest for $50. There are 2 scratchers. The blue one is to match the secret number in the box next to the arrow with one of the 3 boxes below (I did). The other is to see what kind of discount I will get off the stuff I buy from the PCH catalog (I got 50% off ) but the bottom of the scratcher says the “Maximum savings already reflected in Bulletin pricing” and the back says”Return of Savings Pass not required to receive savings” For shame PCH. This is the kind of stuff you were busted for recently.

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Now that I have played the games and I’m getting an extra $50, $35,000, and 50% off everything in the catalog (no, I’m not) Let’s go shopping!

There are 3 booklets to go through

Most important is to get the little “Initials Registration” sticker on this page. It will go on the order form.

Stuff some burgers, then exercise it off.

Wagging Tails in Heaven or 101 Advanced Sexual Positions.

Do you need a bag of old dimes or old pennies?

Melamine, Where have I heard the word before? Oh I know it is the stuff you put in milk and pet food and it kills everything that eats it. But the FDA says that it is safe in tableware. Bon appetit!

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Have you picked out your 2 favorites? Because it is time to fill out the Entry-Order form!!1!!

The one on the top left is the order from that gets sent in. The rest is just trying to convince me to do it.

Check

The “Initials Registration” sticker is there too.

The bingo card is stuck to the back

But you know me. I have to add special touches to the form. I blacked out the barcodes, and the 10 digit ID code. They process it by sending it through a scanner. They never open the envelopes. I have made it so they have to open it up and when they do, they will get my note and little sprinkle of glitter.

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This had better be the last one of these I get. The next one is going strait to the Pricing and Classification Service Center in New York.