Hold on to your hats people. This is the most Baawww-tacular, the most butt hurt letter from a scammer you will see today.
Some back round first. I have sent out over 40 Prohibitory Orders so far. This is the fist reply letter I have gotten from a scammer.
Here is the first mailpiece I got from Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield. It is peaking out from under all the other scam junk mail that came that week. It came on May 5th.
I got the same mail piece again the week of June 15. It is a very standard advanced fee fraud scam. Send them $20 and you will get 3 million 9 hundred thousand dollars. It is very pretty, with lots of colors, a seal, a big fake check of all the money you are going to get, and signatures everywhere.
A per my rules, because this was the second one they sent, it is time to send out a from 1500.
This is the reply I got from the post office
A couple of notes here, they call her Mr. because they got her name backwards. So for this mailpiece her first name is a douchey bro name, and her last name a very frilly girls name that I have never seen as a last name ever. Maybe something was lost in translation from one scammers system to another’s? Who knows. Also this went to her old address. That tells me they don’t update their mailing lists very often.
Dear Mr. [name],
As requested we have issued Prohibitory Order number 2080002 against Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield. The enclosed copy of the Prohibitory Order (Form 2152) should be kept in your permanent records. This order remains in effect for 5 years from the date of issuance or from the last time you apply for enforcement against an apparent violator. If your application included eligible minors, they will not be protected by this Prohibitory Order after their nineteenth birthday, unless they send us a written request to have their protection continue.
The order prohibiting any mailing to persons protected by the Prohibitory Order goes into effect on the thirtieth calendar day after the mailer receipt. If you receive a mailpiece in apparent violation of that prohibition, and you wish to submit it for use as evidence, you must open it and write on its exterior and contents the date of receipt and a signed statement as follows: “I received this mailpiece on (date).” Then send the entire mailpiece to the Pricing and Classification Service Center at the address above, along with a copy of your Prohibitory Order, if possible, or your Prohibitory Order number.
We are pleased to help in your effort to gain protection against unwanted receipt of such mail.
Here is the Prohibitory Order for Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield from the USPS
We have been furnished a mailpiece containing advertising that you mailed or caused to be mailed to: Mr. [name]
The mailpiece offers to sell matter the the addressee has determined to be erotically arousing or sexually provocative. Under 39 USC 3008, the addressee has requested that a Prohibitory Order be issued against you, and your agents or assigns, to protect the addressee (and his or her minor children residing with the addressee, who have not attained their 19th birthday.) A copy of 39 USC 3008 is attached.
Please be aware that the US Postal Service is required by law to issue this order based on the recipient’s request. This office may not make an independent assessment of whether the mailpiece is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” This is left up to the sole discretion of the customer.
Therefore, under the cited statute, you and your agents or assigns are hereby ordered:
- To refrain from any mailing to the addressee, or any child named below, at the indicated address (or occupant, householder, resident, boxholder, postal customer, rural route boxholder, and local), effective on the 30th calendar day after receipt of this order.
- To delete immediately the addressee and all children named above from all mailing lists owned or controlled by you or your agents or assigns.
- To abstain immediately from sale, rental exchange, or other transaction involving mailing lists bearing the name of the address and/or any child’s name stated above.
Mr. [name] has determined that your mail is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative”. You have 30 days to stop sending Mr. [name] junk mail or else. Every other scammer I have sent this to has taken their lumps, stopped sending me mail and moved on with life. Not Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield.
Here is the reply from Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield to me
Dear Mr. [name],
Our company is in receipt of your complaint filed with the USPS in regard to receiving “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” mail. Please be advised that KHH does not mail material of that kind.
After a thorough investigation of out records it has been determined that your name and address had not been our mailing data base. However, your name and address has been added to our “do not mail” data base at this time.
If you would like to have your name and address permanently removed from the national data files that serve the direct mailing industry, a letter must be written by you and sent to:
Mail Preference Service
Direct Mailing Association
PO Box 643Carmel, NY 10512
We, sincerely, hope that this will remedy the situation.
And here is Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield’s reply to the post office
Our company is in receipt of the letter from your office regarding the above. After a thorough investigation of out records it has been determined that Mr. [name]‘s name and address has not been our mailing data base. At this time Mr. [name] has been added to our “do not mail” data base.
A copy of this letter will be mailed to Mr. [name] as well as the address of the national data files that serves the direct mailing industry so that he can request his name and address can be added to the “do not mail” data base.
More importantly, please be advised that no “erotically arousing or sexually provocative” information has ever been mailed to anyone from KHH.
It is hoped that this letter will conclude the file on this matter.
So to review:
- They don’t mail porn.
- Her name is not in the data base, but they are going to be nice and put her on the “do not mail” list anyway.
- I should write a letter to the DMA.
- They don’t mail porn.
They obviously didn’t read my How-to on sending a Prohibitory Order. Or else they would know that it is not up to them to determine what is “erotically arousing or sexually provocative”. It is up to me. Now, I did get a tingling in my lady parts while I read this mail piece, but I think it was a yeast infection. Definitely a by product of reading to much junk mail.
Did they really tell me to write a letter DMA to stop junk mail? That is like so 5 years ago. Everyone (well, everyone that reads this blog anyway) knows that you go to DMA Choice now to stop junk mail. You need to step your game up Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield.
To everyone who gets junk mail from:
Kingsley, Harper & Hatfield
176-25 Union Turnpike
Fresh Meadows, NY 11366
Please send in a Prohibitory Order on them. It is the only 100% sure fire way to make them stop sending you stuff. The more time they spend sending letters to you, me, the USPS, and the DMA is less time they have to send out scams.