Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

I am sure many of you wonder how I write this blog week after week. Is “hate blogging” a thing? Like people “hate watch” a TV show week after week because they hate it and pick it apart, I “hate blog” about the garbage mail that I get everyday.

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

Recently a paper was excepted to a fake vanity journal with no scholarly value. It has the catchy title of “Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List” (PDF) written by David Mazières and Eddie Kohler way back in 2005 as a protest of a fake computer science conference. Peter Vamplew dusted it off this year when he sent it as a reply to a spam email from the vanity press.

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

It was excepted, and rated as “excellent” by the journal’s peer-review process. Sadly it was not published because Mr. Vamplew would not pay the $150 publication fee.

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List

My point is that some days that is the blog I want to write. It is so hard not to write “fuck these guys” over and over, with a couple of photos every post. It is the email I want to send when I ask the slimiest junk mail mills to put her on their suppression list. Epically when they give me some bullshit reply about “honoring people’s privacy and their right to receive our mail if they want to” Bitch, your “right to send junk mail” ended at the second piece of crap you, the company you run, and your scumbag clients, sent in one week.

Fuck This thing Particular

Fuck This Thing Particular

This Thanksgiving I am going to go camping for the weekend. I am going to a place with no cell service and no mailboxes. For 4 blissful days I will clear my head of all things junk mail. I am dreading the month of December. How many charities will send photos of sad hungry kids and big eyed weepy animals? Starting the week of December 15 shit is going to get real for everyone who darkens my mailbox. There are 2 choices for everyone next month: you either get a form 1500 or a letter from the DMA. Unless you are an international scam. Fuck those guys in particular.

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