Drowning in Junk Mail – Thank goodness, the Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog is Here to Save me

Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
This came the other day. It is from the “Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Office of the Director Frank Langard Corporate Headquarters – M.I.P.W. Personal matter, Sent in Privacy to be opened by addressee only”
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
It has a post mark, and a mailing label from China. Now I am interested.
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
The logo is very cool
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
It is for “Victims of Fraud/Final Notice”. I’m a victim of fraud! Finally someone is here to help me. That is strange, the return envelope will go to PostBus 5 4033 ZG Lienden Netherlands. Never mind that let’s read the letter:
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
The things I do for you people. I hate typing out full pages of these letters. But this one is just too good.

“Please read carefully. You are being provided this paperwork as a matter of official notification from the Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog.

Our organization carefully monitors direct mail and internet activity and serves to notify individuals who may have been victimized by malfeasance or fraudulent schemes or solicitations from any number of enterprises seeking to profit at public expense. As a private, non-governmental watchdog group, our goal is to increase consumer awareness and issue warning and compensatory initiatives to those who may have been directly or randomly targeted by bogus mail/internet advertising or other scam-related operations.

Your name appears on the database records as someone who may have been earmarked by such activity, particularly in the area of false sweepstakes, lottery and contest entrapments [sic], and reporting of such inflated charges and fees which are unrecoverable.

As a consumer watchdog, we are not involved in class-action lawsuits or other legal and/or  prosecutional [sic] enforcements, however we can assist in active alternative measures on behalf of those so affected.

Specifically, at this time we are authorized for a nominal fee to enroll you in a systematic sweepstakes auto-entry program which will confirm outright opportunity for you to WIN, provided you are [name redacted] a total Monetary Amount of $10,000,000.00 Ten Million Dollars.”

Can I stop typing now? Good.

Aw come on! They started off so good, and then it took a right turn into Scamville. Check out the backside of the letter:
Mail & Internet Fraud Protection Watchdog, Public and Private Sector
That is the scam from the Netherlands I know and love. They want you to send them $30 to enter you into an “automatic sweepstakes entry system”. It is signed by Vern Bates, Director of Operations, and Abraham Smith, Administrative Liaison.

If you get this, or something like it, do not send this in. Toss it into the trash. These people only want your money. You are not going to win ten million dollars. You would be better off giving $30 to a random person on the street.

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